I guess the title says it all, so here you go:
- Funerals, more often than not, happen in the rain.
- If you have an intelligent computer on your spaceship, it will probably try to kill you at some point. The same is also true for most androids.
- If your vehicle dies or runs out of gas at night, it usually means you're going to die.
- When running for their lives, women have poor balance.
- When having a conversation with someone else in the vehicle, it is not required for the driver to keep their eyes on the road all the time. A glace once every five to ten seconds is sufficient.
- If a group of children goes into the woods, they will usually make a horrific discovery. If a group of teenagers or young adults goes into the woods, they will be attacked by some kind of maniac or monster.
- It is possible for any man to win the affection of any woman, regardless of how different their backgrounds or social standings, but only after a series of humorous and usually embarrassing events.
- If you make a startling discovery and you share this discovery with anyone, even a trusted friend or family member, and that person responds by asking, "who else knows about this?" you should run away as fast as you can.
- If you shoot a car with a gun, the car will explode. However, if you shoot a plane with the same gun, the plane will simply begin leaking fuel.
- In the future, all spacecraft will come equipped with self-destruct mechanisms.
I am delighted to announce that the negotiations between the Bloggers Guild of America (BGA) the Alliance of Web Log Producers (AWLP) have been successful and we have reached an agreement which I believe will be mutually beneficial. Both sides have made compromises so that this agreement could be reached as soon as possible, so that I might continue writing this blog for your enjoyment.Obviously that is all a big fat lie. In truth, I got distracted by World of Warcraft.So let's see. What's new? Well, there was Christmas. That was pretty cool. We actually only had two Christmas meal obligations this year and they both happened at our house, which was a new thing. We had a Christmas lunch thingie on the Saturday before Christmas with my mom, my brother Adam, his wife Tasha, and their daughter Mia. It went pretty smoothly. The next day we had our usual Christmas dinner with Debbie's family, but this time, due to some animosity amongst the extended family (long story), it was just her immediate family that attended.And that left us to enjoy Christmas day at our own pace, which was nice. In years past, we've opened the gifts from Santa on Christmas morning, then we've had to get the kids dressed and out the door for some event or another. This year we all got to stay in our pajamas and play with toys all day long.The kids got lots and lots of stuff. Debbie usually shops all year long and, I'm not sure how, but she manages to keep track of everything that she gets so that all the kids enjoy fair and equal representation come Christmas morning. The end result is that I'm usually just as surprised at the sight of the presents under the tree as the kids are. I'm left looking at the mountain of gifts, scratching my head, thinking Santa? Is it really you?
The big gift from me to Debbie was a mother's necklace. It's got three little gold kid figures, each representing one of our offspring. They each have a corresponding birthstone in the belly of the charm. It wasn't easy to find all of the pieces and they weren't cheap, but she's wanted that necklace for years. And she is a pretty good mom, so she deserved it.
Yours truly got the PS2 version of Guitar Hero III with two guitars, a badass new gaming keyboard, and a wireless router. Now I can browse the internet or play WoW anywhere in the house! I used to be pissed that The Jetsons promised that we'd have flying cars by now and the world didn't deliver, but the ability to play WoW while I'm on the can is even better!
I'm back in school now after a short break. I have no idea how, but I actually pulled a B out of that jackass macroeco-suck-ics class. I can honestly say that the class taught me two things: supply and demand are related (duh), and people should never study economics. Now I'm taking English 101, a history of Europe class, a geogrophy class, and something called Strategies for Academic Success, which is basically an intro to college class that is required by my school.
I met the requirements for a leadership certificate and I should receive the certificate in the spring. I can't wait. I'm gonna hang it on the wall of my office and it will give me license to boss people around. And if they give me any guff, I'll just point to Mr. Leadership Certificate and that'll be the end of it.
Work is just as annoying as usual. Got a new boss, which is pretty cool. She wants to start grooming me for her position, which means, for the time being, I have more responsibilities and more work, but interestingly, no more money. Funny how that works.
And then there's World of Warcraft. At one time I said I'd never pay a monthly fee to play a game, but after hearing Jason rave about it, I decided to take advantage of the free trial ... and he was never heard from again. I figured it up and, if you consider the number of games that I usually buy in a given year, it's more money than if I were just paying the monthly fee for WoW. And with the amount of time that WoW eats up, I don't have time to play other games anyway. Jason is on there with me and Adam is too, so we're able to coordinate on a lot of things in the game. Hell, even Debbie has been playing a bit. I've gone through a few characters, but right now I've got two active characters: a level 47 night elf druid named Nannar, and a level 10 undead priest named Yoreck.
OK, gotta go. All this talk about WoW makes me wanna play.
Here is a word of advice for anyone who is willing to listen. It's a simple thing, but it could very well save your life ... and your immortal soul. If you're ever meeting with an advisor from your college and you're asked if you would like to take a macroeconomics course, kill the advisor and flee. You'll have to remove the head or destroy the brain, but this is the only way to make sure they don't come back. Also, you'll probably want to burn the corpse just to make doubly sure. Only, make sure the smoke is contained so that it doesn't escape into the atmosphere. Otherwise rain clouds could be contaminated and then we would all have a plague on our hands.
When I signed up for this godforsaken class, I though it sounded interesting. "A study of how society's needs are satisfied with the limited resources available." That sounds like it could be interesting, right? Well, it's not. It sucks ass. If only I could go back in time to kick myself in the balls as a warning.
I'm sorry if you're an economist or if you're in to that whole thing, but come on. Do you really have to make a graph for everything?!? Some things can just be said. You don't have to graph every single damned thing.
And some of the shit that's in my textbook is just plain stupid. Here's an excerpt from the book: "a $10 bill will do when the price of an item is $10, but a $10 bill plus a $1 bill is needed when the item costs $11." I'd like to point out that this textbook costs, as of the writing of this blog entry, 109.85 U.S. dollars. And anyone who pays this amount in exchange for the book is paying for that excerpt. I would like my money back. Or at least the portion of what I paid that went toward stupid crap like that.
Luckily I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not much longer until this semester is over now. And then I can put this whole terrible nightmare behind me.
The drought was ended in a spectacular fashion yesterday when the heavens opened up and pissed all over us in biblical proportions. OK, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but it did rain pretty freakin' hard.
So hard in fact that it pwned my basement. I had to miss work today so that Debbie and I could run to get a wet/dry vac to clean up the mess.
But first I had to remove the obstruction from the gutter that I think may have been the root of the issue. So I ventured out around 8:00 this morning in the cold, pouring rain to climb up to my roof on a slippery ladder on muddy ground. That was fun. The headline was running through my mind: "MAN FALLS ON HEAD, DIES WHILE BEING DUMBASS."
Nothing of any significant value was lost, luckily. We did have to throw away some stuff, but all that crap probably should have been thrown away a long time ago anyway. The box containing Debbie's Barbie doll collection was a little wet, but I don't think any of the actual packages were affected.
On the plus side, while shopping for a wet/dry vac, Debbie purchased her very own Nintendo DS, of the crimson/black variety. It's pretty cool looking. And now I fully expect her to keep her grubby hands off mine. Final Fantasy VI isn't going to finish itself and how was I supposed to do it when she was using my DS to play New SMB?
Besides having fun playing the multiplayer modes of New SMB and Phandom Hourglass, I've been delighting in sending her obscene drawings via the DS's PictoChat function. I'm sure there's a better use for PictoChat, but damned if I can think of it.
So anyway, today kind of sucked. But I did get a day off work. And that's always a good thing. Although if I had fallen off of that ladder and killed my damn self, that wouldn't have been so cool. Unless I DID fall off the ladder and die and now my spirit is continuing its routines as if nothing had happened. Oh wait, no, that would be cool too.
I picked up The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass a few days ago and I'm really glad I did. This is a great game. And it does a phenomenal job of utilizing the touch screen of the DS. Many of the tried and true Zelda conventions are given new life with the advent of the touch screen and the stylus. You don't just throw the boomerang in the direction of your choosing, you can actually plot out its course by drawing a line on the screen.
Even the sea travel system is reborn in Phantom Hourglass. While that aspect was, in the opinion of many, a detriment to Wind Waker, in Phantom Hourglass, it's actually fun. Again, you can plot your course using the stylus. And, instead of directly steering the ship as in Wind Waker, once your course is set, the ship essentially steers itself while Link is free to man the cannon.
All of these new ideas work together to create a unique Zelda experience. Even though this is primarily a top-down adventure with gameplay similar to A Link to the Past or any of the other Zelda titles for the handheld systems, everything seems new. The level designers were able to use the new functionality of the boomerang and other tools to create fresh puzzles.
This one seems to be more of an adult game than previous Zelda titles. I don't mean to say Link is dropping F-bombs or giving his patronage to hookers ("yo honey, I'll show you a real good time for twenty rupees!"), but some of the puzzles require a depth of thinking that is, frankly, unusual for a Zelda game. And many of the puzzle hints are vague at best.
Playing Phantom Hourglass has reawakened my taste for the older, classic console games. Luckily for me, many of the old games that I cut my gamer teeth on are now available for the GBA. And, it just so happens, the GBA games are compatible with the DS. So now my handheld game library is stocked with games like A Link to the Past, Final Fantasy IV, and Final Fantasy VI. Once I finish Phantom Hourglass I'm going to start those journeys again. Rockin' it old-school. Hells yeah.
Today was my 29th birthday. Which means that, in just one short year's time, I will have been breathing oxygen for 30 damn years. That's a long freaking time. Especially since, in high school, I was voted Most Likely to Die From Asphyxiating on Vomit Before the Age of 25*.
Anyway, it was a pretty normal day. Went to work. The kids made me birthday cards, which is always cool. Every year I get new homemade cards from Emily and Xander which serve as a benchmark for their progress as little people. Every year I can see their skills and creativity growing and it feels good. It's funny that my birthdays have become less about me and more about my family, but I guess that's the way it's supposed to be.
I ate O'Charley's for dinner tonight, which was a rarity because Debbie usually makes dinner. I had their pecan/chicken tender salad. If salads could have children, I would want this salad to bear my children. It's badass.
I did get a really cool toy for my birthday. The wife and kids got me a new mountain bike. You can see a pic of it here. That's not a picture of MY bike, but it's the exact same model and color and everything. It's not a competitive bike by any means, and I won't be descending any mountains with it, but I wanted something that wouldn't bankrupt me which could also handle easy to moderate trails without falling apart. I can't wait to try it out, hopefully this weekend.
*That's not really true. I made that whole bit up.
Today is the September equinox, which, for myself and all the other residents of the northern hemisphere, means today is the first day of fall. We're coming out of an exceptionally hot and dry summer here in Northern Kentucky, so that's good news.
I think if I had to choose, I'd pick the fall as my favorite of all the seasons. It has more personality than the others. Plus, it's the season of my birthday. Also, it's home to my favorite holiday: Halloween.
As a way to welcome the fall and to commemorate the summer, Debbie and I took the kids on a short hike this morning to Middle Creek Park, which isn't too far from Boone County Cliffs. It was pretty cool, except for the swarms of mosquitoes (the drought has left lots of standing water where a creek used to be) and an encounter with one pissed off dog that, for some reason, really didn't like the kids. There are at least three distinct trails in the park. We stayed on Trail 1, but we saw signs that pointed to Trail 2 and something called Mud Road. Trail 1, with its wide, level, well-worn paths, was very hospitable. I didn't really see any of Mud Road, but Trail 2 looked like it may be a bit more challenging.
I plan on getting a mountain bike here in the next week or so and I think Middle Creek will be a great place to break the bike (and my legs) in.
Looking forward to a great fall season.
